Fair is Fair

Hey if you find handholding with my good looking boyfriend in a movie theatre unsettling, can I show the same malcontent when you kissed your beastmonster of a wife?


I think you got the short end of the stick - so to speak.

Scientific Fact #328

The more noise your motorcycle makes, the cooler you are!

"Holy Shit, that guy is awesome!"

"Whaaaaat?"

How do You Know When You Have Something Special?

When you're talking to your boyfriend and he says,

"Because, you know, I'll sleep with anything."

and you say,

"Clearly."

The Bible Made Easy!

It's not rocket science - sinner.

Equal Opportunity Ignorance

I was having a conversation with some g'wad and he said, "How can a guy run Bay to Breakers in a diaper and call himself straight?"

I said, "Umm... do you really want to claim that one? Because I don't."

Lets just leave that one up in the air and not claim it for the 'Mo.

Retardation clearly doesn't favor one sexuality over another.

Douche Names

If you find yourself having to say something to the effect of, "Oh no, that's not how you spell my name... it's J-a-i-e-s-w-a-n" and you pronounced it like the regular name "Jason" - your parents are terrible, rotten people.

And every time you introduce yourself you better say "My name is J-a-i-e-s-w-a-n but you prounounce it like a regular name, my parents just decided to be cute and give me a name that everyone will undoubtedly spell wrong and make me seem like a douche."

If you don't like this, change your fake name, Yuppie.

Thanks,

J-a-i-s-s-y-e

Rename Rebates

Can we just call them "stupid things we have to do in order to save money even though there's a far more easy and efficient way for both the buyer and the seller to get the discount but you're just betting that most people won't go through with the rebates you greedy douches"?